i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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