he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Randomize
