sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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