Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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