I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Randomize
