Christians are straight up FREAKS
shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Randomize
