How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize
