we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
