thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
