But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
