so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Semen is not good for contacts.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
