how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Randomize
