the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
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