i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
