I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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