ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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