shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Randomize
