Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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