So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Randomize
