Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
