Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
