the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
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