boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
being pregnant is like rehab
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Randomize
