Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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