yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
