glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
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