I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize
