Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
