either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
