Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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