I love black thongs
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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