Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
This is not my ceiling
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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