I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Randomize
