3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
