cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Randomize
