Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
