as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
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