doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
