she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
