dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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