i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
