Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I just found puke in my bra..
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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