So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
