I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I want to walk on stilts...naked
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
