What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Randomize
