FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
