Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
