end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
