I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
