U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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