My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
